steve kwan user experience designer

Don't contact people out of the blue and ask for something

(January 29th, 2008 - 4:09PM)

How many times have you received an email like this?

"Hi, how are you? Man, it's been awhile. Good to get back in touch. By the way, I'm looking for a job."

Don't you hate it when you haven't spoken to someone in ages, and he suddenly contacts you out of the blue because he needs something? Well, guess what...everyone else hates it too.

Make friends, not resources

I find it very insulting when people go months without talking to me, only to send me an unsolicited email asking for money, a job, or some other gigantic favour. When I get a message like this, I feel like I'm being used. I feel like I'm being considered nothing more than a "resource."

I've got news for you: you're much more likely to get help from friends than "resources." So rather than hiding like a hermit until you need something, here's a radical idea for you:

Stay in touch with your business contacts. That way, when you need something from them, they won't feel like they're being used.

Easy ways to keep in touch

Luckily, it's never been easier to stay in touch with your contacts. You don't need to wine and dine acquaintances on a regular basis. Sometimes, the little things are good enough. Here are some ideas.

• Send out an email every once in a while.

  This is probably the most obvious way to keep in touch. Once a month, or once every few months, you should just send a "Hi, how are you?" email to all of the people you haven't spoken to lately. You don't necessarily need to have something to say. The small act of staying in touch - talking when you have nothing to talk about - is what counts.

  Note that you don't follow that email up with "By the way, I need something." That way, when you really do need something, your correspondence won't seem out of the ordinary. :)

• Send holiday cards.

  And not e-cards. The real ones. This is a simple gesture that doesn't take much time and genuinely impresses people.

  And don't forget to send out holiday cards, not Christmas cards. :)

• Remember birthdays.

  This one's big. When you remember someone's birthday, it just makes them feel special inside. This is especially easy with Outlook and Facebook, both of which will remind you of someone's birthday.

  However, this is important: don't wish someone a happy birthday by writing on his Facebook wall. That reeks of minimal effort, since Facebook already reminds you of his birthday. Give him a call or send him an email.

• Add people to your social networks.

  Whenever you sign up to a new social network, add everyone you know - not just your closest friends. If you've still got all your contacts from prior jobs in Outlook, don't forget to add them too. It sounds tacky, but adding your old contacts to your social networks is a little reminder that they haven't been forgotten.

• Send a Facebook poke.

  They're not just for sex anymore.

Conclusion

I don't normally blog about communication skills, but this topic is important enough that I think it bears mentioning.

More than ever before, it's easy to stay in touch with your contacts. And it's a good idea to do so, because staying in touch turns these people from resources into friends. And if you'll ever need a favour from these people, it's better to have them on your friends list, rather than just "resources" suspicious of your motives.