steve kwan user experience designer

Universally acclaimed movies that I didn't like

(June 14th, 2006 - 10:05PM)

There are some movies so good that they're loved by everyone. They stick in your mind and change the way you view the world. These are those movies, and this is why I hate them.

Crash

Brendan Fraser + Sandra Bullock + Matt Dillon + Ryan Phillippe + Ludacris + Tony Danza = Oscar winner for Best Picture? In which parallel universe does this happen?

This movie just seemed way too hokey for me. It felt more like a public service announcement than a feature length film. And most of the acting was wooden. Of course, that's what you'd expect from the names mentioned above. Terence Howard, Thandie Newton and Michael Pena turned in solid performances, but Thandie Newton's was ruined by some awful dialogue early on.

I just think that this movie wasn't half as brilliant as it was made out to be.

Capote

Anyone with a television or a functioning neocortex knew that Philip Seymour Hoffman was going to win Best Actor honours at this year's Oscar awards. And he did. But why?

I went into Capote expecting PSH to turn in a performance that would knock me on the floor. Was I ever disappointed. If there's one thing to learn from Capote, it's that there are only three steps to becoming a critical success:

1. Slick your hair back
2. Wear gigantic glasses
3. Talk like there's a rubber band wrapped around your testicles.

Brokeback Mountain

A classic love story, or just a script in the right place at the right time? If Brokeback Mountain involved a man and a woman, people would realize it's just a slow movie with Jake Gyllenhaal.

The Passion of the Christ

I haven't even seen this movie, and I've already decided I don't like it.

The Godfather

Yeah, that's right. I don't like The Godfather. Peter Griffin and I have something in common.

According to Metacritic, The Godfather has an average rating of 100%. That's some pretty high praise. Not to mention that this movie is single-handedly responsible for almost half of American pop culture. So surely anyone who criticizes this movie must be a little bit insane. Well, here goes.

The acting was good...I guess. The story was good...I guess. And the script was good...I guess. Overall, it's very hard for me to identify precisely why I'm not a big fan of this movie. Maybe it's because I was so used to all of The Godfather's clichés that by the time I actually saw it, I couldn't appreciate how unique it was at the time it was made. Or maybe it's because all of the dramatic moments - the horse head in the bed, the shooting in the restaurant, the retribution at the end of the movie - felt just a bit awkward, so it failed to draw me in during these crucial moments. Or maybe it's because this movie has the longest and most unnecessary flashback ever. For whatever reason, I don't think The Godfather is the perfect movie.