steve kwan user experience designer

Don't mess with Wikipedia

(January 31st, 2006 - 11:14AM)

Wikipedia has blocked many IP addresses beloning to the US Congress. Apparently people from these addresses have been altering Wikipedia content to suit political agendas.

It's kind of a sad day when citizens have to actively prevent their own government from censoring.

Read more about Wikipedia blocking the US Congress.

My accomplishment for the day

(January 30th, 2006 - 9:16PM)

Inciting a flame war with Matthew Good.

FYI, the thread is in reference to Matt Good's new website.

Once you break that seal, it's unreturnable

(January 28th, 2006 - 10:55PM)

An excerpt of an MSN conversation I had with Richard:

stevekwan.com says:
I'm waiting for my Xenogears soundtrack

stevekwan.com says:
I suspect that it will be imported into Canada along with a fresh batch of Japanese immigrants

Richform says:
I know people who have that, I think

stevekwan.com says:
I hope that there isn't a mix-up in my order and a Japanese guy named Yip winds up on my doorstep

stevekwan.com says:
Because I really want that soundtrack

stevekwan.com says:
And I have no need for cheap labour

stevekwan.com says:
Even if he does have a Ph.D in neuroscience

Richform says:
What if it's a hot woman?

stevekwan.com says:
I don't dig Asians

stevekwan.com says:
Not my cup of tea

Richform says:
and it turns out ordering a Xenogears soundtrack is actually a secret code

Richform says:
for the mail-order bride company you actually ordered from

stevekwan.com says:
If that happened, I'd do the same thing that happens when I buy something from Future Shop

stevekwan.com says:
Try it out once, then return it

stevekwan.com says:
The trick is getting the "warranty void if removed" sticker back the way it was before you opened the box

Richform says:
once you break that seal, it's unreturnable

stevekwan.com says:
Such a scam

Proof that I'm a geek

(January 28th, 2006 - 11:46AM)

I ordered the Xenogears soundtrack.

The Steve Kwan dot com blog engine

(January 26th, 2006 - 10:20PM)

I'm quite proud of the technology powering Steve Kwan dot com. Let me tell you why.

• Because it's simple. There's no back-end database that generates the content for this site. So many blogs these days are constructed with third-party tools to manage content, and there's nothing wrong with using said tools...if you need them. Well, I don't. There's definitely a case to be made for using back-end databases, but a lot of the time all you really need is well-structured content. And that's what this site is.
• Because it's valid. This site is made of carefully crafted HTML/XHTML. The percentage of websites that actually meet the W3C's standards for HTML/XHTML is surprisingly low. A lot of so-called professional Web designers don't even take the time to ensure their work is valid. Doesn't that say something about how professional they are?
• Because it's easy to use. Human-computer interaction is one of my areas of interest. I'm always impressed by well-designed, elegant websites. So many people throw a lot of flashy components onto their sites, but never put much thought into how they all fit together. I like to think that this site is very well thought out and easy to navigate.
• Because it's pretty. I like the choice of colors and imagery that I came up with for this site. I think it accurately reflects who I am and what I do.

So what engine powers Steve Kwan dot com? Steve Kwan. This site is powered by manual labour. This site is powered by love, not some third-party open-source piece of junk that you downloaded and compiled onto an old computer.

Webinars

(January 25th, 2006 - 8:51PM)

Today I hosted my first Webinar. So that probably raises the question in your mind: what is a Webinar?

According to Wikipedia's definition of a Webinar, it's "a seminar which is conducted over the World Wide Web. It is a type of web conferencing." In this context, a Webinar is Steve yakking at a bunch of his clients about searching databases while showing them examples via Web software that shows them my desktop.

The word "Webinar," if you can call it a word, is a portmanteau word. According to Wikpedia's definition of a portmanteau word, it's "a word that fuses two function words...Example: infotainment, from information and entertainment." Examples of other portmanteau words include guesstimate and Bennifer.

I figured there would be four or five people involved in this Webinar. It turns out I was speaking to about fifteen. The feedback we received afterward was excellent, which is great because we're planning to conduct more.

Coping with a Conservative minority

(January 24th, 2006 - 7:24PM)

I'm not sure what to make of the election results.

On one hand, my boy Jack Layton managed to pick up a lot of seats. That's a great step forward for the NDP. They probably won't win the next election, and probably not the election after that...but perhaps one day. If the Conservatives can rebound from obscurity to leadership in about ten years, it's possible for the NDP too.

But on the other hand, of course, we have our new Conservative government. I'm not horribly concerned this time around, because with a minority their power will be quite limited. I'm interested to see how well Harper can pull together all the opposing parties to get things done. My big concern is that in the next election, there may be a Conservative majority. If that happens, I'm afraid they'll push Canada a bit too far to the right.

So far, Stephen Harper has really disgusted me. His views are too fundamentalist, his promises are too lofty, and his efforts to overthrow our government seem more like a power grab than real concern for Canada. The country has spoken, and it seems they're willing to give him a try. I suppose it doesn't matter what I think at this point. I hope for the best.

The sad thing is, I no longer feel that I could never move to the United States. I always thought that Canada was different. I thought we were progressive, socialist and tolerant of others. I thought, perhaps naively, that these were principles any Canadian would respect. But on election day, 36% of the voters in this country proved me wrong.

A lesson from the Canadian election

(January 23rd, 2006 - 8:40PM)

Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

It was socialism and peacekeeping that made Canada great. I'm sad to see that we've forgotten the past.

I am voting for the moustache party.

(January 23rd, 2006 - 11:00AM)

Today I am going to the polls to vote in the Canadian federal election, and I am voting moustache.

The moustache party is the only party you can trust to take care of the working class. The moustache party wants what is best for everyday Canadians; they don't have a political agenda and they haven't been plagued by federal corruption scandals. The moustache party is a real Canadian party that has handled itself well over the past year. They've proven themselves as a responsible, caring party and deserve your vote.

When you go to the polls today, vote smart; vote moustache.

Find out more about the moustache party.

Who would've thought that playing Grand Theft Auto would have taught me something

(January 21st, 2006 - 11:02PM)

I've been behind the wheel of a moving car twice now, and apparently I'm not too bad for a beginner.

Here's another recent milestone: I received my first angry honk from a fellow driver!

Today I finished my third and final in-class driving lesson. And I'm very glad about this, since the lessons were six and a half hours long. One thing I certainly won't miss is being in class with a bunch of dumbasses. Some of those kids seemed a little dim and a little uninterested. I'm so happy that most of my co-workers and BCIT classmates are bright and passionate; it's stifling to be surrounded with people who kill your mood.

In writing that last paragraph, I realize I'm an old man and I don't like kids.

SNL's on tonight; Peter Sarsgaard is hosting. I suspect he'll suck. 24 is on tomorrow, which unfortunately conflicts with the Federal election; I predict I'll be flipping channels from 8-9PM. "Tell me where the bomb is!" "Tell me who is leading in the Port Coquitlam riding!"

512MB of fury

(January 20th, 2006 - 11:24AM)

One of our more active clients has been complaining recently about massive slowdown on one of our servers. A bit of investigation revealed that the machine only has 512MB of RAM, which is not nearly enough to fully manage the load on this server. I'm not sure why there was only 512MB of RAM in this machine. I thought for sure there was at least 1GB. In any event, we're going to rectify the problem ASAP.

• Windows 2000 Server RAM requirements: ~200MB
• WebGENCAT Java requirements: ~170MB
• WebGENCAT back-end requirements: ~130MB
• Daily calls from an irate librarian: priceless.

Popup ALT Attributes: A simple but incredibly useful Firefox extension

(January 19th, 2006 - 3:05PM)

This is the Firefox extension I've been dreaming of!

W3C enthusiasts will tell you that HTML's ALT attribute is used to provide text that will displayed when an image cannot be loaded or viewed. Microsoft decided to break this convention. As you've surely noticed, when you use Internet Explorer and you hover your mouse cursor over an image, a little tooltop appears that gives you an explanation of the image. That's the contents of the ALT attribute. It's incredibly useful that IE does this, but it's not the correct behaviour of the ALT attribute.

However, because of IE's ubiquitous nature it's not uncommon for users to expect other Web browsers to do the same. Firefox does not display ALT text in this manner; instead it uses the TITLE attribute, which is what the W3C standard specifies. Unfortunately, most Web developers don't bother to specify TITLE attributes on their images; they only specify ALT. This can be very frustrating for users if Web developers have built websites under the assumption that users can see ALT text as tooltips. I will admit that I'm guilty of this sin; just check out my photo gallery to see. All of my thumbnail images have detailed descriptions as ALT text.

Right or wrong, it's incredibly frustrating that Firefox doesn't display ALT attributes as tooltips. But this extension changes that.

Download Popup ALT Attributes

Minor changes that my viewers hopefully won't notice

(January 19th, 2006 - 1:36PM)

I've shuffled around a lot of the internals on this site. Hopefully you won't encounter anything that looks screwed up. If you find any inconsistencies in the site, please post a comment to let me know.

I'm attempting to make this site as intuitive, standards-compliant and aesthetically pleasing as possible. One of my areas of interest is human-computer interaction (HCI), which is the study of making software products that are easy for people to use. If you've got any suggestions on how I could improve this site they would be appreciated.

stevekwan.com is a hobby for me, but it's also a sandbox where I can test out new ideas for Web design. If I like what I do here, I often copy the ideas into production websites I develop. So telling me your opinions of this website does more than improve stevekwan.com, it helps me do my job.

One of the design principles I follow when building this site is to minimize my dependencies on third-party technologies. stevekwan.com doesn't use WordPress or any other blogging tools because I'm trying to keep it simple. The site is mostly just HTML, with some helper PHP scripts to do things that can't be done statically (such as the message board). This attitude isn't always realistic for production sites, where databases may be required. For a simple blog I think the minimalist attitude is perfectly acceptable, and I'm proud of what's been accomplished here.

I have updated my bio to provide more details about myself. Even if you know me well, you might learn something in there.

This is a mop sink

(January 18th, 2006 - 11:33AM)

Here's a great example of why user interfaces are important: This is a mop sink

Guest post: To whom it may concern, by Dickolas Wang

(January 18th, 2006 - 12:49AM)

I have known Steven Kwan for eight years. In this time, I have watched as he grew from an energetic teenager with an innate sense of mores to a knowledgeable and professional -- but still energetic -- adult. I have come to truly respect him as a friend and as a colleague.

I first met Steve as a peer early in high school. During this time, I knew Steve to be a talented student simply in need of a little push to go from being merely "talented" to being an "achiever". I really came to know him, though, in my year as Top Academic Grade 12 Student. It was in this year that Steve really began to put together his work ethic. He passed PE 10 and achieved marks that were in the same ballpark as mine. I was also impressed by his wit: when I made a joke towards him, he promptly fired back in kind, "What the hell happened to your face?" Touché, Steven. Despite this being our only conversation in the three-plus years we had known each other, I was also impressed by his chutzpah in proceeding to speak to me further in class. I could never hold his earlier insult against him after that.

It was in this class that I first became acquainted with his technical prowess. While I, having not taken Info Tech 11, was busily studying out of the Visual Basic manual we had been saddled with on my way to winning both the Info Tech 12 and Info Tech 11 awards that year, Steve saw no need. Instead, Steve used the time to network, becoming acquainted with the people in our class. This did not hurt his performance, though, as his final project -- which I believe was an egg-timer program -- measured up in every respect to the Minesweeper game that my partners and I built.

After this, Steve proceeded to study Computer Systems Technology at BCIT, where his work ethic really hit a new level. His drive to succeed and willingness to work long hours at the sacrifice of his own health and relationsip with his family impressed me and, I dare say, shamed me as I took time out from my pursuit of an eventual 94.5% average in Combined Honours Mathematics and Computer Science at UBC to speak to him. He taught me that talent didn't mean everything: that you can make up for whatever deficiencies you may have if you are willing to do gruelling hard work -- and he was certainly willing. Today Steve still carries on this philosophy, and remains only three years away from attaining a Bachelor's degree. When he receives it, I intend to be there applauding, as I ought to have that time off after completing my PhD from the University of California, Berkeley.

Steve is also well-respected amongst his work colleagues. In the last three years, he has become a Senior Software Engineer and has righted the ship at his new company. Also, he has taken an active role in hiring and has become a vital member of the management, as he writes on his blog and tells me online from his office.

In his off-time, Steve is a very accomplished hiker, through which he has been able to achieve bodybuilder-sized calves, which he is justifiably proud of. He also has an uncanny eye for web trends, as he has been "blogging" long before blogs became popular. stevekwan.com has been a vehicle for his wisdom and advice as well as a showcase for his web development talents for over six years. Were it not for his example, my own online output would never have been able to surpass his in quality and I would never have become The Internet's Foremost Dickolas Wang.

In conclusion, you will not be sorry that you hired Steven, as he is a top-notch individual and a man of many talents.

Sincerely,

Richard Liang (the one who doesn't owe money all over town)

Dickolas Wang, or Richard Liang, is a Ph.D student and self-absorbed prick from Berkeley, California. You can read more about him on I, Dickolas Wang.

Ed.: Hey Dickolas, thanks for the guest post. By the way, did I tell you about my plans for this weekend? I'll be spending time with a GIRL. At my HOUSE.

Tips for buying shoes

(January 17th, 2006 - 10:51PM)

A while back, I purchased a pair of orthopaedic insoles to help correct a problem with my knee. They work wonders. If you have knee or back problems, I highly recommend them.

In any event, one problem with orthopaedics is that shoes don't fit the same if they have orthopaedic insoles in them. When I got my orthopaedics, I had to stop wearing all my old pairs of shoes and buy new ones. So when I buy new shoes, I have to make sure that they still fit when I put my orthopaedic insoles in. The problem is that I have to take out any insoles that are already in there.

If you've ever tried taking out manufacturer insoles, you've probably noticed that a lot of them are glued right into the shoe. I'm not entirely sure, but I perceive this as a sign of low quality: if you can't take the insole out, the shoe's probably no good. I find it highly entertaining to ask shoes salesmen to take out the insole and then watch them struggle as they dismantle the shoe for me.

Generally, Rockports have removable insoles. I personally perceive Rockports to be of excellent quality.

Shereen thinks I should wear some sort of sporty, athletic shoe. I always feel out of place whenever I walk into a Champs or some other sports shoe store. I'm not the sort of guy who dresses up like a gangster or hip hop artist; I don't think Nike runners would look good on me.

After prowling Metrotown, I couldn't find a pair of shoes I liked. I wound up going home without. Some other day.

This one's for you, A.S.T.

(January 17th, 2006 - 12:00AM)

GENIUS.

Picture stolen from the Internet Movie Database.

The premiere is over

(January 16th, 2006 - 11:54PM)

24's four hour season premiere is over, and wow, what a start.

Granted, the best parts were in the first half hour. But that half hour was enough to drag you in for the long haul.

Today's two-hour show had Kiefer trying to defuse a hostage situation at an airport. Very compelling television. I'm trying to get as many people as I can watching this show. That means you.

Converts so far: Divman, Dickolas Wang, Mom and Dad.

Kiefer Sutherland kicked my ass

(January 16th, 2006 - 10:39PM)

WOW. What a season premiere for 24.

When they said that nobody was safe this season, they weren't kidding. In the first fifteen or so minutes of the show, two main characters got axed. Unfortunately they killed off one of my favorites, but still - I'm amazed they had the guts.

So we're off to a strong start this season. If you missed the first episodes or if you've never seen 24, now isn't a good time to get on the bandwagon. Wait until season five comes out on DVD, or rent the earlier seasons if you haven't seen them.

Here's a link for your amusement: Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

Photos of the L test

(January 15th, 2006 - 11:46PM)

I finally got around to putting up some photos taken after I finished the L test. See The L test in my photo gallery.

Dinner with The Book Club

(January 14th, 2006 - 11:26PM)

I went out with Shereen, Michelle, Scott and his sister tonight. We went to Joey Tomato's, which has become a surprisingly high-end restaurant. Atmosphere aside, ever since I learned how pseudo-high-class chain restaurants like this one treat their employees I've felt nothing but contempt for places like Joey Tomato's. That's not to say that dinner wasn't great, because it was. It would just be nice if the waiters and chefs responsible were being paid liveable wages.

Shereen, Michelle, Scott and myself are collectively known as The Book Club. This is a relatively new development, which officially began when Michelle recommended we all read Are You the One for Me? by Barbara DeAngelis. Not a book I'd recommend to anybody, but it cemented The Book Club.

I also told the guys that I'm planning to buy casual runners - a concept that I still find bizarre. Shereen has explained to me that casual runners are shoes that have the style of running shoes, but are not used for running. As a guy, I find this concept a little hard to understand. Why would you want to look like a runner if you're not running? Fashion's weird.

Saturday Night Live's about to start. Don't want to miss that. Tomorrow is the season premiere of 24. I'll possibly post thoughts on the first episode afterward.

Hi ho, hi ho

(January 14th, 2006 - 8:57AM)

It's off to a six and a half hour driving lecture I go.

A partial transcript of my conversation with a Rogers support agent

(January 13th, 2006 - 9:17AM)

Agent: "Mr. Kwan, please stop yelling!"

Steve: "I'm not yelling! I just talk loud!"

Rogers becomes one of my most-hated telecoms

(January 12th, 2006 - 6:21PM)

My lunch this afternoon was interrupted by a lady from Rogers. She informed me that she was calling regarding my account. Apparently my payments are late, and if I don't pay up she is going to "call collections."

Imagine my shock. Especially considering I'm not a Rogers customer. I'm with Bell.

Apparently there was some confusion because I attempted to set up a land line with Rogers a while back, but promptly cancelled. I was still floating around in their system somewhere.

After trying to work my problem out with their representative, I became quite livid. As a result, I am adding Rogers to my blacklist of telecoms.

Steve's blacklist of telecoms:

• Telus
• Rogers

Review: Refactoring

(January 11th, 2006 - 10:40PM)

Martin Fowler's modern software engineering classic, Refactoring, contains little but common knowledge.

(2 / 5 stars)

If you're not a software engineer, you can stop reading right now. This post isn't for you.

This is a review of Refactoring, a book written by Martin Fowler which is well-known in programming circles. The book attempts to describe the process of refactoring, or improving the design of existing object-oriented code. The first part of the book is an introduction to refactoring, the second is a catalogue of known refactorings, and the third is a collection of essays written by well-known OOP experts.

Refactoring explains an alternative method of developing software: clean up the design as you go. In the age of evolutionary development, this might not be so unusual. What is unusual is that the book says that design mistakes aren't expensive.

Perhaps I'm not in the best position to review Refactoring, because I was initially trained with OOP. If you're relatively new to OOP or if you learned to program in the procedural days, Refactoring might have some insight for you. But as someone with a bit of experience in this sort of development, I didn't get much from the book. Especially taking into account the hefty price tag, I wouldn't recommend it.

Knowledge workers are expensive for a reason

(January 11th, 2006 - 1:37PM)

Here's a little article I found: The last IT worker standing. The article itself doesn't just apply to IT workers; it applies to anyone whose job is to manage information.

The article seems to explain that you should pay your knowledge managers droves of money to keep them on staff, because if they leave you're up the creek. Although I certainly won't object to more money, I think the real problem is that knowledge managers don't document what they know. Which is ironic, considering their job is to manage knowledge. If a knowledge manager isn't ensuring that information is available to his successors, he's not a good knowledge manager.

My favorite posts of 2005

(January 10th, 2006 - 9:17PM)

I wanted to set this up a while ago, but I forgot. Below are my favorite Steve Kwan dot com posts of 2005.

• The Plan
• The BCIT Union Strike
• I had an interview with this guy.
• iPods suck
• Photoshop is fun.
• Lessons learned in the field
• Low-fidelity prototypes
• What the world needs now is <blink>, sweet <blink>
• How far we've come
• The great Style Sheet battle of 2005
• If I were a Dungeons & Dragons character
• Three things that, as a software engineer, piss me off
• Electronic Arts is ridiculously evil
• Canada descends into a state of anarchy
• stevekwan.com fan of the month
• Lessons learned in 2005

Kwan SMASH!

(January 10th, 2006 - 7:14PM)

There is no emoticon to express how angry I am at the moment. That's a good thing, because I don't have an easy way to add emoticons to my posts (yet).

I won't go into the details because I don't imagine many of you are interested, but BCIT dropped the ball with one of my courses this term.

Well on my way to becoming an Internet celebrity

(January 10th, 2006 - 10:10AM)

stevekwan.com has been averaging 277 visits a day. One day soon, I will be famous.

Or I might not.

Why didn't I include the original message in the post below?

(January 9th, 2006 - 2:15PM)

Because I didn't want to give that guy any more press.

The letter below is a load of crap.

(January 9th, 2006 - 12:03AM)

My friend just forwarded me some uneducated chain message. Its author told us not to vote Liberal because they can't manage finances. I sent the following reply to her and everyone else to whom she forwarded the message.

The letter below is a load of crap.  I really hope that forwarding around this e-mail isn’t going to convince any silly people to change the way they vote.

I'm not saying so because I'm a Liberal - On the 23rd, I will be voting NDP like I always do.  I'm just concerned because this letter is passing around a dangerously uninformed opinion, and anybody who mistakes it for fact could be basing their decisions on the wrong information.

The author of the letter below has blasted off his personal experiences and opinions to who knows how many people?  He would have us change the way we plan to vote based on his “feelings” about politics - and as he says, he is “not passionate about politics.”

Here's an idea, buddy: if you don't care about politics, that's fine with me.  As a Canadian citizen, you have the right not to care.  But if you don't care, PLEASE don't ask people to forward your uneducated drivel around the Internet, and ultimately, into my mailbox!  I already get enough junk e-mail about penis enlargements and Nigerian money-laundering schemes.

I am sick of hearing that the Liberals are corrupt and have mismanaged finances.  That's just something Harper is saying because it's his only possible chance of being elected - that and, perhaps, his opposition to gay marriage.  Don't let Harper trick you into thinking that our government is nearly as corrupt as he says it is.

Consider this:
Top ten scandals in Canadian political history

That's the CBC's breakdown of the top political scandals in our country's history.  Read over the top ten and tell me where, pray tell, Paul Martin's sponsorship scandal appears?  Harper would have us believe it's the worst thing that's ever happened in Canada, when the reality is that Brian Mulroney's government - that's right, the last time the Conservatives were elected - was far more corrupt than Martin ever was.

So when Harper tells you that the Liberals are corrupt, don't believe him.  He's just taking a page from George W. Bush's book: if you say something over and over again, eventually people will believe you regardless of whether it's true.

But unfortunately, people are listening to Harper.  There seems to be the perception that the Liberals have mismanaged our finances.  I'd like to know how we came to this conclusion.  Rising taxes are not necessarily a sign of bad government, as the author of the letter implies.  If the author's family has stumbled upon hard times, I'm sorry to hear that.  But we all have our own experiences, both good and bad.  I'm not going to change the way I vote because of yours. At the end of the day, it's Canada as a whole that matters, and Canada has been doing well.

When people question the Liberals' abilities to manage dollars, they're usually referring to the sponsorship scandal - and as I mentioned above, that's really not much of a scandal at all.  And remember that this was a scandal in which Paul Martin was exonerated.  I have yet to see any legitimate argument against the current Liberal government.

I don't care who you vote for on the 23rd, but please make sure your vote is an educated one.  I am afraid that many people will vote for the Conservatives because they actually believe what Harper is saying.  Stephen Harper's war on corruption is every bit as frightening and misinformed as George W. Bush's war on terror.  I am afraid of living in a country where our Prime Minister was elected on a platform of lies.  So whatever you do, make sure to do some research before you vote.

--
Steve Kwan
http://www.stevekwan.com/

A fully functional RSS feed

(January 8th, 2006 - 9:28PM)

Now the notices in my RSS feed link to specific postings on this site. If you don't know what I'm talking about, here's a bit of a background.

Steve Kwan dot com, like many other sites these days, has an RSS feed. Certain programs and websites can use this feed to notify you whenever my site is updated. For example, my personalized Google homepage reads RSS feeds for CBC, Slashdot, LISNews.org and my friends' blogs to show me recent posts and news items.

You can find more information on RSS in Mark Pilgrim's article, "What is RSS?" Anyone can set it up. Let me know if you want help.

Driving school

(January 7th, 2006 - 4:48PM)

I just got back from my first driving class. My parents signed me up for driving school after I got my learner's license (after seven years of refusing). It's a six and a half hour class on Saturday. Six and a half mind-numbing hours. I've got two more of those, and then I'm done the class component. From there, Steve goes on the road.

I can't say I'm horribly enthusiastic about car ownership. In fact, I've been avoiding it for so long that the whole thought of driving makes me uncomfortable. I'm so set in my ways by this point that actually being behind the wheel of a vehicle is a little frightening.

When we got to class we had to fill out a personal information and consent form. In the personal information section, I was supposed to enter the phone numbers for "Home 1" and "Home 2." I thought that was quite unusual; after all, how many people own two homes? Then the instructor - a very nice lady - explained that this is where you put your Mom's phone number and Dad's phone number if they live separately. If your parents live under the same roof, just fill in Home 1. It was then that I realized almost everyone in the class still lived with their parents. The thought that some of the students might be living independently, like I do, was not even a consideration. I am far too old to be learning how to drive.

There were a lot of cute girls in the class, but I couldn't go anywhere near them because that would violate the Golden Rule. Perhaps for my female readers, I should explain the Golden Rule. The Golden Rule, also known as the Don't Go To Jail Rule, is a formula that calculates the minimum age for women you can date.

The Golden Rule formula is:
HER AGE >= (YOUR AGE / 2) + 7

Let me provide an example. I am currently 23. Let's say that I'm interested in a 19-year-old. Can I date her? Well, let's plug the ages into the formula.

19 >= (23 / 2) + 7
19 >= 11.5 + 7
19 >= 18.5

The formula holds! So I can date her, because her age is greater than or equal to my age divided by two plus seven. Let's give another example: I want to date an 18-year-old.

18 >= (23 / 2) + 7
18 >= 11.5 + 7
18 >= 18.5

The formula does not hold. This girl is too young so I can't date her.

So as I was saying, going out with most of the girls in my driving course would violate the Golden Rule. Perhaps I should take a course with girls more my age. Something that girls would be interested in, like marketing or psychology. I imagine these would be prime picking grounds.

The current list of things irritating me right now

(January 6th, 2006 - 2:30PM)

• My roommate's refusal to do stupid, simple things I ask him to do.
• When people send me an e-mail and I don't respond within two hours, so they send it to me again flagged as urgent.
• The medicine my doctor is making me take for digestive problems. Don't even ask what I have to do with it.
• Senior citizens.
• My washing machine and dryer, which are both causing me grief.
• Women.
• Stephen Colbert's several-week vacation.
• Getting used to writing 2006 instead of 2005.
• Websites that show the current date. I do have a system clock, you know. It's not that much work for me to look to down and to the right; I can see the date there.
• When people ask me if I've done something they requested earlier. When it's done, I'll tell you.

The uneducated masses

(January 6th, 2006 - 10:19AM)

The following conversation took place with one of my co-workers while walking to the office. I'm calling him Jimbo to maintain his privacy.

Steve: *makes a comment on someone's election bumper sticker*

Jimbo: "Uhh...are we having an election?"

Steve: "Oh, Jimbo."

Jimbo: "Heh, heh...what are we voting on?"

Steve: "Oh, Jimbo."

For any of my Canadian readers who are in Jimbo's position: yes, we are having an election. You really should know that. How can you not know that? Don't you read the news? Don't you watch TV? Don't you talk to other people? Don't you surf the Internet?

With all of the resources we have for accessing information, it's amazing that people are still uninformed about issues like this.

Jon goes big time

(January 5th, 2006 - 3:38PM)

Jon Stewart will be hosting the 2006 Academy Awards!

Let me know if you're throwing Oscar parties!

...Jon.

Paper-based books may soon be obsolete

(January 5th, 2006 - 10:29AM)

Sony is geared to release their E-Book soon. The E-Book is an electronic handheld device for reading digital text and media. Although we've had this capability for many years, anyone who's ever tried to read a book on their PDA understands quite well why the trend never really caught on. LCD screens are simply inadequate for long periods of reading.

The E-Book uses proprietary technology that relies on charged particles instead of an LCD display. Long story short: The E-Book's has clearer text and has less glare, so reading on its screen should be a similar experience to reading on paper.

I'll be glad if the E-Book catches on. For a long time, I've wondered why paper-based books haven't been completely replaced. This could be the start.

About sixty percent of what you say is crap

(January 4th, 2006 - 3:24PM)

Of all the talk show hosts who would finally put Bill O'Reilly in his place, I thought for sure it would have been Jon Stewart. But Jon is surprisingly gentle when Bill is on The Daily Show. I never in my wildest dreams thought it would be David Letterman.

On January 3rd, Letterman absolutely ripped O'Reilly a new one on The Late Show. I wasn't really sure if Dave fell on the left or right of the spectrum, but now it's pretty obvious. You can get the full transcript from Hammer of Truth and see the video on NewsBusters.org.

I can't believe...

(January 3rd, 2006 - 10:57PM)

...I spent a hundred dollars on a pair of jeans. But I did.

Being at work again isn't so bad

(January 2nd, 2006 - 2:07PM)

Today is the first day in over a week that I've been at work because of holidays, but being back in the office isn't bothering me. I feel quite rested, despite the fact that I didn't sleep well last night. Anyway, it's good to get the ball rolling again. We've got a lot of development on the horizon, so the sooner we get started on it, the better.

I'm currently taking all of our demo systems and merging them into one big "uber" system. This means that whenever we release a new version, I only have to update one system instead of four. It should make our demos, testing and updates much easier. I've also written scripts for each of our applications that will allow me to do full manual tests. Unfortunately, we're not yet at the point where automated testing is an option. But maybe one day.

Most of my work these days has been involved with establishing processes for updates, testing and demonstration. I get to build and oversee the procedures for running software development activities. It's nice not being a code monkey anymore.

Back to work

(January 2nd, 2006 - 7:22AM)

Ahh, the first post of 2006! Hope you all had a relaxing and fun holiday season, and I look forward to seeing more of you in the new year.

Today is my first day back to work since the 23rd. Eloquent shuts its offices down for the week of Christmas. Today is probably still a day off for most of my employed readers, but we chose to take our time off last week instead. That's how we were able to get a whole week off without wasting too much company time.

I didn't really discuss my Christmas and New Year holidays here yet, so I might post a summary of what went down over the past week. But for now, off to work. Talk to you all soon.