steve kwan user experience designer

Rebel Billionaire vs The Apprentice

(December 11th, 2004 - 7:01PM)

So my girlfriend has me watching The Apprentice. For the uninitiated, this is a show in which a man with horrible hair makes contestants compete in business tasks to determine who he should hire.

My mom has me watching Rebel Billionaire. This is a show in which a man with good hair and horrible everything else makes contestants compete by swimming with sharks and scaling buildings in their underwear, because this will somehow determine who is best to run a company.

For those of you who have a life and don't watch these shows, let me summarize their differences for you.

• Donald Trump, the host of The Apprentice, determines which of the show's contestants is best fit for a well-paying, but ultimately insignificant job in his enterprise.
• Richard Branson, the host of Rebel Billionaire, determines which of the show's contestants is best for for running his entire corporation.

• Donald Trump assigns meaningful business tasks and evaluates his contestants based on their success.
• Richard Branson assigns meaningful business tasks and evaluates his contestants based on their willingness to do something ridiculously stupid afterwards.

• Donald Trump is famous for his awful hair. He's the rotund guy who stuffs himself into a $10,000 suit.
• Richard Branson is a scrawny, scraggly man who looks more like a crack addict than a billionaire.

• When it comes time to fire someone on Rebel Billionaire, Richard Branson thanks the firee for his time, apologizes, and gives them a plane ticket.
• When it comes time to fire someone on The Apprentice, Donald Trump tells them, "You're fired," flashes them the universal "bang!" hand gesture, and sends them on a cab ride.

So which show is better? Well, I'm not sure yet. Probably Rebel Billionaire, even though nobody watches it. Except me and my mom.